This identity is especially idiosyncratic, as the experiences of grey-asexual/greyromantics can vary wildly. Grey-asexuality and greyromanticism describes anyone who falls in some area between being asexual and sexual, or aromantic and romantic. The only real difference is that the relationship is platonic, rather than romantic. They may live together, have children, or even get married. A QPP will have the same level of commitment as a romantic relationship. One might have the instinct to compare this idea to having a best friend, but that isn’t accurate. These partnerships are, as the name implies, platonic in nature. Many aromantic people will enter into what are called “queer platonic partnerships” or QPPs. Like with asexuality, an aromantic person may still choose to engage in a romantic relationship, or not. The definition of aromanticism is, simply: Someone who does not experience romantic attraction to anyone. Similar to asexuality, someone who identifies with a subcategory of aromanticism may simply call themselves aromantic because it’s simpler and easier to explain. AromanticĪromanticism is what could be described as the romantic-orientation counterpart to asexuality. Everyone experiences their asexuality differently, so it’s important not to make assumptions about an asexual person or their experiences. Some asexuals have a libido or will masturbate but won’t be open to sex with someone else, while others may not have a libido but will have sex with a partner because of the sense of connection that comes from it. It’s important to remember, however, that attraction and action are not always the same: some asexuals may be repulsed by the idea of sexual contact and won’t engage in it, but others may be sex-neutral or sex-positive and will have sex. A simple definition that I use is: Someone who does not experience sexual attraction towards anyone. Many people who identify with one of the subcategories of asexuality will use asexual when talking about their identity in public because it’s the easiest to explain. AsexualĪsexuality is probably the most well-known of the a-spec identities. Now, let’s take a look at some a-spec identities and unpack what they mean. A person can be pansexual and homoromantic, for instance, which means they are sexually attracted to people regardless of gender, but only romantically attracted to people of their same gender. While the SAM was initially created by a-spec people, it can easily be used by people who are not asexual or aromantic. This helps asexuals who don’t identify as aromantic, and aromantics who don’t identify as asexual to qualify their experiences. For asexuals, this means that they can identify as panromantic, heteroromantic, homoromantic, demiromantic, or any other romantic orientation and not forfeit their asexual identity. This means someone who is aromantic may still identify as pansexual, heterosexual, homosexual, demisexual, or any other sexual orientation, without giving up their aromantic identity. This means that for every sexual orientation, there is a romantic orientation counterpart. What the SAM does is splits sexual and romantic attraction into two separate things. The Split Attraction Model (or SAM) was first coined by asexuals and aromantics in order to better describe and explain their identities to both themselves and others. If someone finds a microlabel that fits the experience they haven’t been able to qualify or quantify, it can alleviate feelings of brokenness or unbelonging.īefore we dive into definitions and descriptions we need to talk a little bit about the Split Attraction Model. It allows them to cast light on experiences that would otherwise be ignored or scorned, and helps them to find communities that they identify with. While this may seem excessive to some, for many people having these identities is extremely important.
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Note that this is by no means an exhaustive list there are dozens of other identities that fall under the a-spectrum. Here, I’ll go into some of the lesser-known identities that fall under the categories of asexual and aromantic. The identities that fall under the umbrellas of asexual, aromantic, and agender are many and varied, and almost as diverse as the greater LGBTQ+ community itself. These terms, however, are only a few of what are known as “a-spec” (asexual spectrum) identities.
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Asexuality and aromanticism both occupy the A in the LGBTQIAP+ acronym, alongside agender.